Chenda and the Airship Brofman is my first novel. It’s available from Amazon.com. Buy it! It’s good.
Here’s an interview I did about the book with Trisha Wooldridge at A Novel Friend.
Here’s the website where I have podcasts of the chapters.
I am willing to sell the rights to this book – make me an offer!
I was a bit confused at the beginning. The switching between the two woman, even with their names there. Yea, I just finished working night shift. I enjoyed it, I want to read more. I already feel invested in the story which is a good sign. Yea, I want more. Let’s hope you get published, and soon.
Your lips to god’s ears.
[...] Chenda and the Airship Brofman [...]
At first I thought, from the title, that it was a children’s story, but quickly realized it isn’t. You may want to reconsider the title.
Interesting premise and I would like to know how the story proceeds.
You may want to consider how your sentences conduct feelings about your characters. I sensed a distance between you and them. How do you feel about them? Are you fond of Chenda? Candice? It’s important to invest your feelings into the narrative as opposed to being an objective observer.
By the way, Bob’s book was shopped by his agent last year to no success so I’m publishing it myself. When I thought your story was for kids, I was going to introduce you to someone we know who publishes kids’ lit, but now I realize you’re in the same boat we are.
Don’t know if I told you about Bea’s health. She’s not well. I’d love to see you and fill you in. Let me know when you’re available. I’m very flexible these days (unfortunately).
Iris
It’s funny that you say change the title. EVERYONE who has read the whole book – and there are 5 or 6 readers currently out there – say the exact same thing to me in chapter 1. ALL of them. By the end, they all said they couldn’t think of a better title. Mostly they said a better one was out there, but they just couldn’t think of what it is. BUT as I recently found out at a talk at the MENSA AG, there is NO keeping the working title of your book. The publisher owns the title and you get no say in it, or the look of the cover art, or the spine of the book or the back page. And mostly, I feel like he who pays the fiddler calls the tune. Am I right? I’m partial to Chenda and the Airship Brofman, but keeping it is in no way a deal breaker.
Emilie, I have not read the whole chapter, but I am very much enjoying it. I don’t have any leads for publishing, though. Have you pitched it to a movie company? Seriously.
Good work and good luck, Jeannette
Then she emailed me:
Emilie, about the movie idea. I immediatley pictured the people in you book and there enviroanments. And I can see the flash backs with the valient RAS fighters. I am a visual person so maybe that is just where I go.
I didn’t get into the analysis of the characters and your feelings about them but did become investd in and curious about the characters.
best of luck, Jeannette
Sorry my PC locked up so I might count as two visits.
I prefer leading with the funeral rather than the tea shop.
Is there any way to describe Mortimer at the funeral so that she is someone to be gossipped about. Being a Geology professor is exciting and all, but at a funeral, the geology is taken care of by the paid staff. Does the crowd know that Mortimer is an ex? Is she mentioned in the papers?
Looks like I have some down time. Maybe I should …
–T
I want to read more!
I like your turn of phrase, and I can picture the scenes. I was not too sure about starting with a funeral, but it is life-changing, so foreshadows upcoming adventures. I also get that from the title, which I like, though my musical ear would like to add Chenda’s last name to balance the syllables.
RE other posts, I also found the POV switch with similar names a bit confusing. But then I had to assign the characters in War and Peace letters to keep them straight, so it might just be me. Nice creation of tension between them. I want to know what they have to say to each other, and what the geologist has to reveal about those rocks.
Good beginning. Please publish soon so I can read the rest!
TS
Emilie: I have only read the first paragraph, but I promise, I will read the entire first chapter tomorrow. I have an appt. to keep and cannot take the time right now. I look forward to the rest of the chapter and will probably get Anna to read it too. She is the resident “writer” in our house! Tell Aunt Barbara and Uncle Paul hello from Oklahoma – Mom and Dad are great, Amy is great, Steve and the girls are great – will talk to you more later.
Love,
Tama
I’m more of a blog reader than novel reader so my critique might not be worth a lot.
I don’t mind that the story started at a funeral. It gave me just enough to visualize everything around me but didn’t take forever to resolve. I appreciated it moving right along.
I didn’t have any trouble keeping the women separate though as a visual person I don’t really know how to picture Chenda in my head. Multi-layered dress, dark eyes. That’s really all I got. At the end of the chapter I learned that Candice is tiny. There again, maybe it’s very cliche to introduce characters by their petite noses, knowing smiles and long curly locks of hair. What do I know?
To me it felt like a mystery game. It’s really the only kind of video game I get into. Something where I can take my time and explore every scene bit by bit. I love the games where I’m given a plot, a setting and an objective and then have to find clues and solve puzzles to unlock the rest of the story. The sliding panel on Edison’s desk revealing the letter and rocks is what tipped that off for me
Very well done.
You have done a fabulous job polishing the first chapter. I like that you have not described in detail what Chenda and Candice look like. Readers connect to a book through its characters and to imagine what Chenda looks like on my own makes her more “real” to me personally. Plus, it makes casting the movie easier when you’re not looking for a very specific type:)
I KNOW! This would make such an AWESOME movie, especially that part near the end, you know the one I’m talking about…
Hiya, pal.
A good beginning, but it seems to be working very hard to rush into the story and introduce the characters as soon as possible; more of a short story technique, I think, than one for a novel. Remember, you have time. Let us get to know Chenda deliberately. And, at the risk of being accused of being way too guy…it seems to me that the distance between you (and us readers) and Chenda (as well as the other characters) is that you describe how she feels and what she thinks, rather than letting the character, and therefore the reader, feel and think. More…active verbs, perhaps. Describe the scene, surely, and the set, but let the actors act. Let us as readers, and as the audience, watch their face, the subtle movements, the narrowed eyes of cool assessent, the arched eyebrows and vivid whites of surprised eyes, the glazed, empty look of one who is in the shock of loss, or the wracked figure on a couch, sobbing with her face buried in a pillow.
Of course, that’s just one way to look at it, and there is no one way to write a good story. And the foundations of the story, the first stages of the quest, are nicely set. A good beginning.
Ev
Emilie,
I became a fan of your book before reading the first chapter entirely – mostly because I just knew I would enjoy reading it. I did. I like the funeral beginning and Candice being a person of interest. I am curious to see how intimate she was with Edison and for how long. I am also curious to know the relationship between Chenda and Edison, I kinda got a feeling (because of her age and Edison’s connection to her father) that she was more like a daughter to him, than a wife. I could be completely off on all of this – as I am no expert in writing. But, I do have a picture of the characters in my mind and was able to differentiate amongst the two women. Unfortunatley, I am no help with the publishing, but I wish you the best of luck because I would love to finish your novel! Take care!
I writer from the Atlanta Writer’s Club sent me this message after reading the first chapter. I thought I would share it here.
E
Emilie,
Thank you for providing the link to Chapter1 of Chenda and the Airship Brofman. I’ve been a Sci-fi fan for too many years to say and enjoy the elements of Steampunk that show up in many places. The new Warehouse 13 has some elements of it.
Just a few comments on the Chapter. I can’t see how anyone can have a true feeling on the appropriateness of the title until they read the whole think. One chapter isn’t enough.
I had no problems with your switching of POV, especially since you softened th change with the gossiping women and used Cadice as a mirror to see Chenda in a way you couldn’t from her 3rd person POV.
I feel that the emotional distance mentioned in the blog is appropriate at this point in the novel with the character’s trying to hold off their emotional feelings under the present circumstances.
Only the amount of space dedicated to Chenda and the title gives her more weight than Candice’s character but in this chapter you seem to be more in tune with Candace.
You’ve put a lot of “balls in the air” in this chapter and I hope to get the chance to read a lot more of it.