Bambi and I had a full day yesterday. There was much running around with the trip to the hospital and Bambi took a half-day to come and watch Elly. So, we rewarded ourselves by sending the girls home with Tony, and we went to a movie.
A 7:45PM movie.
A rated R movie.
A big fat scary, monsters keep jumping out at you, burning-trashcan-end-of-the-world-view-of-the-future kind of movie.
A starring WILL SMITH kind of a movie!
So, please, someone tell me why, why, WHY, was the theater filled with babies and toddlers???
I. Was. Horrified. And that was before the film ever started. What kind of mother brings a baby to a film that late in the evening? Come on people, these monsters aren’t named Elmo and Cookie. I swear, these kids will pee the bed for the next 15 years over this film. And parents wonder why kids are afraid of the dark. YOU’VE just shown them a film that tells them the dark is FULL of monsters that will eat your face off! Such morons.
Could it be a lack of babysitter? Because those parents must have paid at least 10 bucks apiece to get in, and at least $7 for the kids. So, money couldn’t have been the issue (or they are WAY overpaying their neighborhood teenagers.) Are babysitters more scarce than Tony Kornheiser’s hair?
Needless to say, when the houselights dimmed, things got dicey with the babes in seats, and someone called the managers. I actually saw ushers… ush.
Did I like the movie once it was toddler free? Um… Like is a strong word. I left the theater tense, but discussing with Bambi why men do things the way they do and some various scenes that MUST be on the cutting room floor. It would have been a much better film if it explored friendship, commitment and loneliness more, and had fewer monsters jumping out all the time. And roaring. (Why do all movie roars sound just the same? Whether it’s a Sabertooth Tiger or Viral Zombie, same noise. Bambi’s right; it’s not the Golden Age of Cinema any more….)
Unless you are a monster that will jump out and eat the parents who are stoopid enough to bring babies to a movie theater, I think you can wait till video for this picture.