- I live for poop jokes. ANYTHING that has to do with the large or small intestines is the height of humor. Microbial fermentation in the alimental canal? – Rockin’. Wind in the willows? The soul of wit. “Beans, beans the magical fruit…?” My theme song. I’m telling you, it’s a gas.
- My biggest pet peeve: wet bathroom sinks. Ewe… Get a towel people and dry that counter off!
- On the list of the 5 celebrities that you would leave your husband for (well, at least for a long weekend), 3 are already dead. Alton and Clapton, you should be nervous.
- I hate syrup on pancakes. Especially “pancake syrup” which is just stoopid as a concept. IF you dare to violate the purity of a flat baked good, at least have the decency to use REAL MAPLE syrup. Preferably from Vermont. (Truth be told, I hate when others put syrup on pancakes. It, weirdly, offends me.)
- The pumpkin is my totem animal.
- I don’t like to think of them as “chin hairs.” So, I pluck my “stray eyebrows.”
- I like to swim underwater. It’s soothing and quiet and, oh, so temporary. I don’t get to do that much anymore, and I really miss it.
So, there you have it. Me in a weird nutshell. Now. Alias Mother, it’s your turn.