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Posts Tagged ‘mom’

Let’s get the pride out of the way first: I’ve just turned 40 and I have moved in with my parents.

*blink* Okay, not so bad. Why? My Spouse and I have parted company, and I don’t have a job, so I can’t get an apartment. It is what it is. Now I am here, just in time to help my folks out.

My Dad has recently been sidetracked with a brain bleed that has left him a bit goofy, a touch wobbly, and with a vision problem that will keep him from driving for a bit. He will recover — likely in full — in 6-12 weeks, so this is going to be okay. It’s not lost on me that just when he needed me, I’m there. My best friend said, “I see the hand of God in this.” I think I do, too, but I don’t know if that hand isn’t to some extent flipping me the one finger rebuttal. But I rather like that God has a sense of humor. Which brings me to my mother.

Mom can’t help my Dad. It’s been years since she could. My mother has mild cognitive impairment. She’s losing her memory. I’m told it’s not Alzheimer’s, but really, it’s a difference without much of a distinction. Her short term memory is nearly gone, and she has started losing some of the older memories as well. Her mother had it and a score of her other family members had/have it as well. The family tree is littered with it and Alzheimer’s. I think some day it may happen to me. My two girls. So, I am going to write about it, because that’s what I do. I’m a writer. Without a job. Who is 40-years old. Living with her parents. Watching her mother slowly become the essence of her nature.

More on that as we go along. But for today – I want to get some links out there:

We aren’t too far from Emory University, a place that is doing ALL KINDS of research into memory and issues with memory. Take a look at their Cognitive Evaluation.

One of the things that I found helpful to me a few years ago when all this started, was a Mensa Annual Gathering talk called Spiritual Gifts of Dementia. I don’t think this slideshow is the same one – but it is similar, and I found that when you go looking for spiritual gifts, you often find them. I will also talk about this in upcoming posts as well.

And we will need to laugh – or we will just end up crying sometimes. Jokes. Bring on the JOKES!

I look forward to reflecting here – I will tag all of these posts with: Life with Mom.

 

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Granny is staying with me and the family this weekend.  My dad went to Ohio to take care of some business, and I invited mom to stay with me.  I love this woman!

My mom has always been great.  I may be the only child in America who has no complaints about her mother.  She was a stay at home when we were really small, and did the little things that make childhood great: loved us, fed us, kept us safe, listened to us, played with us, took us places and generally paid attention.  When we went to school, she got a job at the school library so she could have the same schedule.  Band concerts, track, soccer games, swim meets, fundraisers, conferences.  Mom was watchful, but not controlling.  Permissive but cautious.   College visits, dorm shopping, slipping fifties in our pockets on the way out the door.  Mounds of laundry.  Fevers.  Pox.  Conferences.

My mother did it ALL.

She often tells me “you pay for your raising when you have your own.”  The first time she said that, I didn’t really understand.  I’ve  come to know that every time my girls get sick, I’m paying for my mother being there for me.  Every time I do for them, it’s because she did it for me.  mom’s not been one to give much advice.  She listens and answers questions I ask, but never says, “you need to,” or “you ought to.”  It’s a good thing.

Which brings me to the Granny in the basement.  She’s sleeping downstairs in the guest suite.  (It’s not the Ritz, but it has some extra heat.) I know that my girls are wearing her out a bit this week.  But I am so happy to have this time with my mom, and Eleanor especially is happy to have her Granny near her.  My mom is great.

Eleanor is up now, and I have some more of my raising to pay off.  I’m super glad my mom is here to collect the interest.

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