Posts Tagged ‘Saralyn’

It seems like only yesterday that I said I was sorry for not blogging. And here it is 5 months later and I am in the doghouse with you all again. I promise I will write.
Kids are fine. Life is good. Eleanor is in Kindergarten. Sara is going to college. Maybe not.


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Eleanor can be a darling or stubborn jackass.

Saralyn is a tender-hearted sweetheart or a whining monster.

Both of them can turn it on and off so fast that it makes my head spin. Beyond that, they intuitively know how to synchronise it so they aren’t the “bad” one at the same time. Baby masterminds is what they are, and the game is How to Sink a Mommy.

What floors me is that there are so many things where Eleanor KNOWS better, and she still chooses to do the dead that will get her sweet hide tanned. Like tonight: she crawled into her sister’s crib again.

After I told her under NO circumstances should she go in and wake her sister.

Even if Saralyn is in her bed, singing and screaming, she was not to go into her sister’s room.

Do not open the door.


If you go in there, you will be spanked.


yes, ma’am.

And yet, 25 minutes later, there she was. And when she got caught jumping up and down on her sister, Eleanor started to cry. Daddy asks if she’s crying because she got caught or because she did the wrong thing.

Eleanor starts wailing “I’ll MISS her!”

Nice try, kid. Not buying what you’re selling. However, Daddy let her off easy and just sends her to her room. I voted for spanking (as skinning alive is off the table, stinking child cruelty laws). Good thing I wasn’t the one to discover her misdeeds. My head would have exploded to have seen her waking the baby, cause, man, that’s rule #1 in this house: Thou shalt let sleeping kids lie.

I guess that’s why the girls have two parents – one to deal with each half of their personalities. The splits save all our lives from time to time.

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This is the blog where I speak on not being able to find a babysitter. Dang – what is with these kids today? It’s a simple gig: keep Elly and Sara alive for 4 hours. That’s really it.

I will have fed them, and laid out thier jammies. I will have their teeth brushed and the will be doped up with Disney Princesses by the time you get here. Just let them finish the movie, read them a book and put them to bed in the first hour that I am gone, and then watch whatever movie you want until I get back. It’s like one hour of work then some serious ME time. It’s like my dream job. Why isn’t it yours, Teens of America?

Bonus: you get to raid my fridge, and there is some serious good Chinese in there, sometimes there’s even cake.

Why is it SO hard to find a nice, homely, responsible girl willing to sit on my couch for 4 hours? I must be looking in the wrong places. Church isn’t even cutting it lately. No. Available. Teens…?…!

Let me know if you are available tomorrow night.

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The girls have 21st century paper dolls – these use plastic clothes that cling to the dolls by static. You with me? Think Disney Princesses with cling-on clothes. (I know – Klingon Clothes is funnier).
ANYWAY, I’m changing Saralyn’s diaper today – at the AAA office where we were getting passport photos made – and I found Cinderella’s lost slipper. Needless to say – I was no prince. I threw that S**T covered thing AWAY – after I peeled it off the right butt cheek of my own little princess. Ah, a mother’s work…
We got a contract on the little cabin in the woods. Closing on April 1. No Foolin’!

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Saralyn got bitten on the face by another two-year old today. Again. Same attacker.  This has really gotten to me. She’s fine – and I don’t think it will leave a mark, but looking at my little girl with a giant set of teeth marks on her face today was really un-nerving.

SO! Let’s not think about that.  Let’s think about this: CHATTACON!

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It was a Cheer-splosion!  There were great gobs of paper and sticky food and amazing friends and family.  Man alive, what a mess.

I blather on about the noise and mess like some old Grinch, but Christmas was a fine time this year.  The day started off  pretty slow just a baby girl and one brother-in-law for coffee and casseroles, and as the house slowly woke up and drifted in, things picked up speed.

As far as presents went, less really was more.  My parents didn’t bring any at all (as we are going up to their house today) and we did fewer things for the girls and each other. In fact, we only had ONE gift from Santa (thanks Bambi!) for the girls – but it was a doozie: a 7 pack of Barbie sized Disney Princesses in a BIG long box.  The girls played with those princesses for HOURS in front of the tree. (I will say this collection of heirs to the thrones have USELESS shoes that fly off at the drop of a crown, and let me tell you those crowns do fall, too. Princess shrapnel I tell you! Everywhere. )

The girls got some clothes and socks, some nice book / toy combos, workbooks for spelling and counting, and a set of bath accessories – you guessed it – all covered with princesses. When Auntie Sam brought out the magic tea set (cold water makes the cup turn colors), two little girls, 7 princesses, a granny and Sam hunkered down in the glow of the Christmas tree and had a ruckus. It was just about perfect.  Of course – after tea – the girls wanted to try out their new bath toys freshen up, so they piled into the tub (and called for me to fill it! Which I did). The best part of the bath lately is Elly and Sara singing Jingle Bells together. CHARMING.

Eleanor was an angel all day – perfect behavior or as close to it as anyone can get when one is 4 and it’s as wild a day as Christmas. (Her only major fail was her daddy got her a little portable CD player that she broke the first time she touched it. Broke clean off the little door where the disc goes. We tried to fix it – Eleanor offered to get the channel locks to help – but the tiny plastic hinge was done for.  Tony and I agreed that perhaps she is too young yet. We’ll just enjoy the Disney CD’s in the car.)  Saralyn melted down twice and had to go to bed to collect herself. She took a three-hour nap in the middle of the day – and that just about fixed her. Poor thing was stressed to the max with all this excitement.

NOW! About the food.  I loved cooking all day, and there were a number of kitchen fairies who came along behind me and made the sink sparkle – which is a Christmas Miracle! We had vegetarian sausage strata, vegan white chocolate cranberry nut strata, sweet rolls, fresh squeezed orange and grapefruit juices (Lynn’s juicer was our X-mas Eve entertainment), fruit salad, ham, biscuits and this Nordic delicacy called potato sausage (my sister’s boyfriend Matt brought it – along with special mustard that will part your hair – from the inside).  After a time I made linguine pesto. YUM. We ate ALL DAY.

Today – what I want out of life is a Green Salad. With some apples and cranberries…

What did I get for Christmas? Well thanks for asking. Tony got me a James Avery Swivel Heart Locket, which I love, and a new CD. I got a Mexican Train Dominoe set and a Kindle! MY VERY OWN KINDLE!!! (It was hard for me to not run into the bedroom right then and lock the door.  I was a good girl and waited HOURS before I locked myself into the bedroom and started fiddling and downloading!) I love my cow calendar.

Today will be Christmas Part Two up at the lake with my parents. I hear that Eleanor will be getting to put together her new BIKE with her grandpa. Perhaps I will need to pack the channel locks after all.

I love you all – friends and family far away and near – and wish you joyous good times this holiday and in the coming year.

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I actually really love it when FireFox updates in the middle of the night and wrecks my session while I sleep. It gives me that little “Well, this is embarrassing…” page.  OOps! We’ve forgotten the 3 bagillion pages you left open.  Wanna start a new session?

Sure I do. It’s nice the way they take responsibility, and then move on. (Take note Cheeta Tiger Woods.) So here goes.

I haven’t blogged in 2 weeks. ANYWHERE – not seriously anyway. This is embarrassing. Forgive me?

Whew! Now that the grand apology is out of the way. HI! I’ve been really busy lately. Holiday. Book publishing. Whatnot.

The Thanksgiving holiday went great. People came. My parents cooked the bird. Everyone else brought sides. Very warm room. I loved my tasty mushroom loaf. Very few leftovers.

Speaking of pigging out, the diet and exercise are paying off. As of my trip to the gym yesterday – the official weigh in place – I’m down 19 pounds. Very pleased.  (Yeah, I was just too weak to write before, that’s it!)

Looking for a house – still – this is embarrassing! Too annoyed to discuss, so I will just sum up: 6 houses offered on – no contract. BA!

Eleanor is a working hard on her preschool Christmas play – she’s a cow. She has several speaking lines – mostly of the “moo” variety. He principal says she know ALL the words to ALL the songs, and she was rather impressed with Eleanor. I am, too. She is very attached to the Little Mermaid soundtrack we have on endless loop in the car. Filling the roll of both diva and director, she assigns parts to everyone, “YOU! You’re the sisters, you are Sebastian, Sara – this song is your favorite! Now, Mommy, YOU sing!” Eleanor and Saralyn are ALWAYS Ariel. I need to get Tony to secretly video the two of them singing “Part of that World.” Elly is rather off-key and Sara doesn’t know how to speak all the words. It’s about the most charming thing ever.

As for my third baby – my book – I have my first books signing coming up next Saturday – 12/12 at 12-noon. Sara’s Godmother Sam is offering up her shop on Main Street for me to have this shindig. I’ve spent hours on Vistaprint designing tee-shirts and post cards  and trying to figure out how to get the most free stuff. I’m getting pretty good at it. Who wants a Chenda Tee? I have been invited to two Sci-Fi Conventions – Chattacon in January and Deep South Con (Charlotte) in June. I’m frustrated at Chattacon already (my contact there is way slow with the details) but have high hopes for DSC. That reminds me – I need headshots.  Who will trade Photography Services for books? Anyone?

This weekend is the Lilburn Christmas Parade – an annual tradition for me. I really like this parade. I hope to see you all there! But, if you see me, don’t bring up my dearth of blog posts; it’s just too embarrassing.


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